Super Smash Brothers Recruiting
by Saburo-X
Summary: Master Hand is getting tired of having the same old smashers continuesly kill each other every year, so he and Crazy Hand went on a search for more characters! Introdusing the most crazyest year of SSBM.! Rated M. THIS MAY BE REMOVED.
1. DefaltChapter

Super Smash Brothers Melee

Recruiting

Category: Super Smash Brothers

Rating: M

Rated For: Unusually strong Language, Alcohol usage, Drug misusage, Sexual Content, Strong Violence, Bloody and Gory description, Crude Humor, and Description of Nudity.

Summery: A new year has started for the Super Smash Brothers, but Master Hand has gotten bored with the same old shit with the same old characters, so he suggests that he and his counter part Crazy Hand looked beyond Nintendo in search of new members. And you will never guess where they looked. Find out in: Super Smash Brothers Recruiting!


	2. The new Smashers

Super Smash Brothers Melee

Recruiting

Chapter One

The new Smashers

(I don't own any of the characters in this story.)

One day at the Super Smash Brothers Mansion, Master Hand was filling out papers while Crazy Hand was smoking papers. "AHAHAHAHAH, YoU wAnT tO hIt ThIs ShIt?" cracked Crazy Hand.

"No…sigh this is getting boring, watching the same old characters continuously kill each other over and over again."

"HEHEHAHAHA, wHy DoN't We ReCrUiT sOmE nEw ChArAcTeRs!" laughed Crazy.

"CRAZY HAND, YOU JUST HAVE ACTUALLY GROWN A BRAIN!" shouted Master Hand excitedly. "We shall go on a quest to search for some new characters, but we shall search beyond our company name Nintendo!" announced Master Hand,

"HEHEHAHA, SEGA!" said Crazy Hand.

"No you idiot, we shall search Sony," explained Master Hand "prepare the Hand Mobile!"

"HEHEHAHA, ThE Hand Mobile iS oUt Of GaS!" crackled Crazy Hand.

"Shit, no matter we shall warp!" said master hand as he opened up a warp hole. They then warped to the company building of Sony. "We are here!"

"WAHAHAHA, YeS wE aRe!" laughed Crazy Hand. They then entered the building. They approached the manager desk.

"Ah, what would two Nintendo star character want with Sony?" Questioned the manager.

"We request to search your line of characters so that Super Smash Brothers Melee could have more of a competition." requested Master Hand.

"I see, well I guess I could lend you some of our characters," said the Sony Manager. "they are in the mess hall right now, so well go down and have you pick some."

"Excellent," responded Master Hand "Come my dim witted counter part!"

"HEHEHAHAHA, RiGhT bEhInD yOu!" laughed Crazy Hand. They then entered the mess hall where all the characters were. Every one was then silent. "HEHEHEHAHAHAHA, LoOk At AlL tHe LiTtLe BuGgErS!"

"Oh shut up Crazy Hand!" shouted Master Hand.

"Hey Jak, check out those freaky floating gloves!" shouted Daxter as he stood on a man's shoulder.

"Shut up Dax." Said Jak.

"Attention all Sony characters!" shouted the Sony manager. "We have been chosen to have several characters make a star appearance in the famous Nintendo Game Super Smash Brothers!" As the manager was talking Master Hand was glancing around at all the character thinking about who he should pick.

"So many characters, who to pick?" Master hand said to him self.

"Now I must go to attend to some important business, you may then choose some characters and return to my office so that we may negotiate a price." Said the manager as he walked out the door.

"Alright, now let's get down to business, S.S.B. needs characters who can fight very well, use magic, and has multiple attacks." Master hand then looks at Sephiroth. "You, with the long hair and the black coat!" Sephiroth then looks at Master Hand. "Come over here." Sephiroth then walked over to Master Hand. "Crazy Hand, take some notes." Crazy Hand then pulled out a note book and some paper and a pen as Master hand began to ask some questions. "What is your name?"

"Sephiroth, Lord Sephiroth." Replied Sephiroth.

"How do you spell that?"

"S-e-p-h-i-r-o-t-h"

"HEHEHEHAHAHA, ArE yOu GaY? BeCaUsE yOuR hAiR iS lOnG aNd YoU lOoK lIkE yOu'Re WeArInG a DrEsS!" laughed Crazy Hand hysterically. Sephiroth then gave Crazy Hand an evil look. "HEHEHAHAHA, I'm ShUtInG uP nOw."

"Now, what is it you like to do?"

"I kill praying burnets with braided hair."

"What is your specialty?"

"I bring down giant meteors."

"You're hired, if we ever give him a height rating it would be 6 red dots out of 5." Said Master Hand.

"HEHEHEHAHAHA, ThAt'S fUnNy!" laughed Crazy Hand.

"Hold on, if I come do I get to shit on the little guys (treat them like shit)?"Sephiroth asked.

"Sure." Master Hand replied.

"Oh and would your son like to come along to?" asked Master Hand.

"My _son_?" asked Sephiroth.

"Yes, that boy over there." He said as he points at Riku.

"I'm not his son god damnit! Why does every one get that wrong!" shouted Riku.

"Oh, my bad."

"ThAt'S eVeN fUnNyEr! HAHAHAHOHOHOHO!" laughed Crazy Hand. He was then pined to the wall by Sephiroth's matsanune.

"He was getting annoying." Sephiroth said.

"Although, I would like to come to." Riku said.

"Well if Riku is going, then I will to." Sora said.

"I guess I'll go to since Sora is going." Roxas said.

"I'm going to since my best friend is going." said Axle.

"Hold it," someone said as he stood up as he took his hood of "if Roxas and Axel are going then the whole Organization XIII goes." said Xemnas as ten other people of different shapes and sizes in black coats stood up.

"Wow." said Master Hand.

"HEHEHEHAHAHAHA, I sEe BlAcK pEoPlE!" said Crazy Hand still pined to the wall. They all looked at him and they all started to pull out weapons like kunis, strange looking guns, spears, an axe, a giant sword, a shield, a giant guitar, and a deck of cards? Crazy Hand was then confused by the deck.

The man with the deck walked over to Crazy Hand and began to shuffle his cards. He then held out six random cards and said "Pick a card, any card, one card will win you One Million dollars."

"Oh GoOdIe." Crazy Hand said happily as he picked a card, he then looked at it. The card exploded on Crazy Hand which made him all crispy.

"HAHAHAHAHA," laughed the man as he swung off his hood "I always get them with that, I am Luxord, the Gambler of Fate!" Roxas then walked over.

"Can I try?" he asked.

"Certainly, same thing I told the hand." Roxas then reached in to Luxord's sleeve and pulled out a card that has $1,000,000 on it. The card then transformed in to a hand full of cash.

"Sweet!" Roxas said excitedly as he stuffed the money in to his pockets.

"Ah crap." Luxord said. Master Hand then looked at three people in the corner of the room.

"What about you three in the back, aren't you part of the organization?" asked Master Hand.

"No," said Kadaj "but we are willing to come anyways since brother is going."

"Brother? Who's brother?" asked Master Hand.

"Me," said Sephiroth "we are related through Jenova Cells." Yazoo then looks at Cloud.

"What about you big brother, aren't you coming?" Yazoo asked.

"Might as well." Cloud responded.

"Wait a minute, _you're_ related to them to? But I see no resemblance." Master Hand exclaimed.

"I just explained it to you stupid! JENOVA CELLS!" Sephiroth shouted as he pulled his matsanune out of Crazy Hand.

"HoW aBoUt YoU sCaR fAcE?" Crazy Hand asked.

"Just because I have one scar on my face makes you think I go around saying 'say hello to my little friend'?" Leon asked.

"HAHAHAHEHEHE, YeS!" said Crazy Hand.

"Well then," Leon pulls out his Gunblade and said "Say hello to my lil' friend!" as he blasted Crazy Hand with a large Firaga blast.

Back in the manager's office he was signing papers when the blast made him screw up. "Shit!" he shouted.

Everyone then looked at the damage that has been done and they saw Crazy Hand all black, wedged in the wall and once again crispy. "…cough…aWsOmE." Crazy Hand gasped.

"Okay, last minute checking, who else would like to come?" asked Master Hand. A man then stood up.

"I would." The man said.

"And who might you be?"

"I am Ansem, the Seeker of Darkness!" announced Ansem.

"Your name is Xehanort stupid!" yelled Sora.

"Yeah whatever, all of you sign your names here and well be back to see if we can take you along or not." Master Hand said. The large hands then floated out of the room and into the manager's office.

"Okay, let's see here you would like Sora, Riku, Sephiroth, Squall "Leon" Lionheart, Cloud Strife, Ansem/Xehanort, Kadaj, Loz, Yazoo, Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, Saix, Axel, Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, Larxene, and Roxas? How many people did you need!" questioned the manager.

"That should be it." Master Hand replied. He then heard a plastic bag open and the tearing and rolling of paper. Master Hand then looked at Crazy Hand as he lit on end of the roll with his laser beam. Then Master Hand said "Don't tell me that that's the notes that you are smoking."

"Is ThAt WhAt YoU wAnT tO hEaR?" asked Crazy Hand.

"Yes." Master Hand replied.

"ThEn No." said Crazy Hand when he really was smoking the notes.

"I wish I had eyes so that I may roll them at you."

"Well, this is going to be very expensive." The manager said.

"How much could it be? Nintendo probably makes more than you guys." Master Hand said arrogantly.

"$50,000."

"For all of them?"

"For each of them."

"J#$ FUCKING C&#$! We don't have that kind of money." exclaimed Master Hand.

"HoW aBoUt 10lbs. Of MaRiJuAnA?" asked Crazy Hand as he held out a 10lb. bag of weed.

"Are you out of your fu-," Master Hand was cut off by the manager.

"Deal, just sign here on this contract."

"You're a friggen' genius!" shouted Master Hand. They both signed the contract and headed down to the entry hall where everyone was waiting. "Good news you all can come to the Smasher Mansion and participate in this year's Super Smash Brothers Tournament!" Everybody began to cheer as Master Hand and Crazy Hand opened up a large warp hole. "Come to Smasher Mansion!" shouted Master Hand as every one got sucked in.

**To be continued…**

(What will the Smasher's reaction be when they meet the new people? Will they get along or will they kill each other? Find out on the next chapter: Meet the Smashers!)


	3. Meet The Smashers

Super Smash Brothers Melee

Recruiting

Chapter Two

Meet the Smashers

(I do not own any of the characters in this story. Nintendo and Sony do.)

A warp hole opens up in front of the Smasher Mansion. Master hand and everyone else then walks out. "Well here we are." Master Hand said. All of the Sony characters look up at the mansion.

"Wow, is this were we are going to be staying?" asked Kadaj.

"Yes, you will spend the entire year here with other smashers." said Master Hand as he led them to the mansion door. "Welcome to the Smasher Mansion!" announced Master Hand as he opened the door. All of the original smashers then stopped what they were doing and stared at the new comers.

Everyone stood silent until Pikachu said. "Pika Pika!" The sudden sound triggered Xigbar's reaction to draw his guns and blast away at the source. Everyone looked down at what was left of Pikachu's body.

Mario then shouted "Those basterds-a killed Pikachu-a!"

"To WAR!" shouted Ganondorf as he drew his sword.

"To VIOLENCE!" shouted Sephiroth as he drew his sword. They all started to charge at each other when Master Hand stopped them.

"STOP YOU FOOLS, QUIT FUCKING AROUND!" he shouted. Everyone stopped and turned their attention to Master Hand. "Save it for the tournament, but when you are out side of it you are to live together as allies." Everyone then puts down their arms. "Good, now smashers I would like to introduce you to the new qualifiers for this years' Smashers Tournament."

"Do we have enough rooms for them Master Hand?" questioned Luigi.

"No," answered Master Hand, "that is why some of them will be crashing with some of you."

"You mean I am going to share a room with one or two of these insignificant fucks!" shouted Sephiroth angrily.

"Well, we do have one room left-" but before Master Hand could finish he was cut off by Sephiroth.

"Dibs!"

"Okay, now that we have that settled, let us decide who is going to crash with whom. I will give you ten minutes to try to choose your own room mate; if you are not done by then I will choose for you." Master Hand said, but nobody moved. "Fine I will choose for you. Axel, you will crash with Marth and Roy." Axel then walks over to Marth and Roy.

"Hi, I'm Axel, I guess were room mates." Axel said.

"I guess so." Roy responded.

"I like your hair style." Said Axel pointing to Roy's hair.

"I like yours to." Responded Roy.

"I'm a pyromaniac (crazy about fire)." Stated Axel.

"So am I." responded Roy.

"Let's be friends!" Said Axel happily.

"Okay!" responded Roy also happily.

"Well that was easy…"said Master Hand "Zexion, you will go with Mewtwo and Jigglypuff."

"Great I am stuck with freaks." said Zexion as he looked at Mewtwo and Jigglypuff.

"Who are you calling a freak?" questioned Mewtwo.

"You, freak!" responded Zexion. They both gave each other threatening glairs.

"Ummmm right, how about Lexaeus. Why don't you go with Bowser and Ganondorf?" asked Master Hand.

"Humph." Lexaeus responded.

"Luxord, you will go with Pikachu and Pichu." said Master Hand as he revived Pikachu. Luxord then quickly walked over to the pokemon, knelt down to their height and pulled out six random cards.

"Pick a card, any card, one will win you a wedge of cheese…" Luxord said quickly.

"Ummm, I don't think you want to do that-" but Master Hand was cut off by Luxord.

"Shh!" shushed Luxord as Pikachu and Pichu each picked a card. When they looked at the cards they exploded. "HAHAHAHAHA! YOU LOSE!" laughed Luxord.

"Now I'm starting to think that this wasn't such a good idea." said Master Hand. Time went by as everyone got sorted in to their rooms with their room mates. Kadaj and his brothers Loz and Yazoo ended up crashing with Sephiroth. "Alright, now that we're done placing everyone, feel free to explore the mansion." Master Hand told the guests.

"HAHAHAHAHA (takes a puff of his joint), fEeL fReE tO bAnG AnYoNe YoU wAnT!" laughed Crazy Hand. Then all the Sony characters got some dirty thoughts.

"CRAZY HAND, YOU FUCKEN' MORRON!" shouted Master Hand. "Well enough of that go explore the mansion, do whatever you want." With that said every one then left to do their thing, look around the mansion, or show the mansion to the new comers. Master Hand sighed. "This might not go to well…something tells me that this will become an insurance nightmare."

(Short chapter huh? Well everyone has met each other and are now going to explore their new home for the whole year. Find out what happens in the next chapter! More Characters will come!)


End file.
